Nia Fia
Version 2.014

"The function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential."
~ Bruce Lee


My Cute Big Nose and Slanted Eyes

Posted on August 19, 2011 at 2:00 PM Comments comments (0)

On my on-line journeys, I came across this wonderful little blog called, "All American Indian Girl."  I was drawn to one of her posts about self-image, "My big beautiful punjabi nose."  Here is my response:

When I was younger I had terrible self-image problems; however, over the years I have learned that being "perfect" is not necessary.  I know this sounds cliche, but it really is who you are.


Heck, my big nose lets me breath deeper (I once read about someone who had to undergo surgery because her nostrils were so small it impeded her breathing.) It helps identify my heritage (I am my mother's daughter and my grandfather's grandchild, and so forth).  


And, my uncreased eyes are still bright and focused. My uncreased eyelids curl my eye lashes upward where as my girl friends would have to depend on eye lash curlers.  It gives a "doe-y" slightly slanted look that I don't mind at all.... Dab on a little eyeliner. Voila!


I don't know if little Lee Min will be saved from having to go through self-image problems with her surgery or if this is just the beginning to a life-time of exterior perfection seeking... only time will tell.


Personally, I don't see myself as anything but me; although from the looks of me, you would identify me as southeast Asian.  I am just the sum of my parts: my physical, my emotional, my psychological. I am me.





Be Yourself

Posted on August 3, 2011 at 7:01 PM Comments comments (0)

Tips for Developing Your Self Esteem and Positive Thinking

Posted on August 3, 2011 at 12:25 AM Comments comments (0)


• Don’t take other peoples criticism to heart, instead listen to what they are saying and learn from it.

• Take some time out for yourself everyday, meditate, look inside yourself and realize all your good points and imagine changing your bad ones into more positive.

• Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish.

• Do something everyday that you enjoy, such as talking a walk in the sunshine or soaking in a bubble bath.

• Never deprive yourself of something you enjoy.  If you know you shouldn’t be doing it, then do it anyway and stop chastising yourself about it.

• Talk positively to yourself, repeat affirmations to chase away all of the negative thoughts and feelings and to bring positive thinking into your life.


Simple Self Esteem

Posted on August 2, 2011 at 11:57 PM Comments comments (0)


"What can you do to build your self-esteem?  Here are some ideas.

- Be positive about yourself. It's much better to give yourself compliments than to put yourself down.

- Think of all the things you are good at and all your successes. Write these down and keep adding to the list. Read the list every day.

- Stop comparing yourself with other students. Your comparison should be with yourself. Are you better today than you were yesterday?

- Associate with students who like, respect, and support you. Try to avoid students who are always looking to find fault with you.

- Get involved in activities you enjoy. You will likely be successful in these activities.

- Make use of your special talents and abilities. These are your strengths.

- Take good care of yourself. You will feel better about yourself if you are healthy and well rested.

- Attack what you think are your weaknesses. Prove to yourself that "you can do it.

- "Help others. You will really feel good about yourself when you do.

- Keep looking for ways to improve yourself. As the old saying goes, "Reach for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among stars."

The higher your self-esteem, the higher will be your achievement.


Self Esteem

Posted on August 2, 2011 at 11:42 PM Comments comments (0)

"The key to improving your self-esteem is to take conscious control of your self-talk. Negative self-talk is the prime cause for creating and maintaining negative self esteem. The things you say to yourself in your mind, as well as the meaning you attribute to events in your life, combine to create the reality you end up live[ing].

One excellent way to combat and overcome negative self-talk is through using positive affirmations. The principle behind them is that the brain cannot entertain two contradictory notions at the same time. Eventually one of the two contradictory notions must win out and cause the other to collapse completely. The belief that finally wins out is the one that you invest with the most emotional energy and constancy of thought.

Affirmations such as:

"I like myself"

"I am a positive person and I create a positive life"

"I am a wonderful person of immense value who deserves to be loved"


Create a series of affirmations like this and resolve to use them throughout the day. You can write one or more of them out ten, twenty or more times a day. You should also take every opportunity to say them out loud to yourself. Always do so with enthusiasm and gusto; really feeling the positive emotions surging through your body. This is the true key to making affirmations work in improving self esteem. Putting all your emotional energy behind them gives the affirmations the power to destroy negative self-talk and low self esteem."


The Crumbs Fix

Posted on July 30, 2011 at 8:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Well, well, well.... what do we have here?

The Crumbs Fix:  Give up the crumbs and take a seat at the banquet table.  First, break up with the guys that are only giving you crumbs.  Then make a rule:  I only date men who are (a) available and (b) crazy about me (for real). Try this on for size, even if it means spending time with guys who "aren't good enough" but who treat you like royalty.  By the way, if you do this, the crumb-giver may come around!  If he starts courting you, give him a chance. But don't jump right back in.  Slowly let him prove to you that he is changing. Encourage him to go into therapy or work on himself to see if he can be more giving and the two of you can come together in a way that is fulfilling for both of you.


You need to learn about what it really means to be loved. Make an affirmation to the effect of, "I deserve respect, care and love."  Post it where you can read it every day.  Treat yourself with TLC.  Practice asking for what you want, no matter how expensive or "inappropriate" or "bothersome" it is.  Also, practice receiving and saying "Yes," when those things come to you.  Because they will.


(from Dr. Diana Kirschner)