Nia Fia
Version 2.014

"The function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential."
~ Bruce Lee



Posted on August 8, 2011 at 6:55 PM Comments comments (0)

"Love consists of Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment!"   

~ from John R. Buri, Ph.D.'s article Hunting for the Elusive Love Snipe

The Crumbs Fix

Posted on July 30, 2011 at 8:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Well, well, well.... what do we have here?

The Crumbs Fix:  Give up the crumbs and take a seat at the banquet table.  First, break up with the guys that are only giving you crumbs.  Then make a rule:  I only date men who are (a) available and (b) crazy about me (for real). Try this on for size, even if it means spending time with guys who "aren't good enough" but who treat you like royalty.  By the way, if you do this, the crumb-giver may come around!  If he starts courting you, give him a chance. But don't jump right back in.  Slowly let him prove to you that he is changing. Encourage him to go into therapy or work on himself to see if he can be more giving and the two of you can come together in a way that is fulfilling for both of you.


You need to learn about what it really means to be loved. Make an affirmation to the effect of, "I deserve respect, care and love."  Post it where you can read it every day.  Treat yourself with TLC.  Practice asking for what you want, no matter how expensive or "inappropriate" or "bothersome" it is.  Also, practice receiving and saying "Yes," when those things come to you.  Because they will.


(from Dr. Diana Kirschner)

The Seven Tests of True Love

Posted on June 20, 2011 at 8:22 PM Comments comments (0)

So supposedly there is a test for true love... huh?   Now why does this feel more like, Foreign Language 101.

How Will I Know If He Really Loves Me?

The Seven Tests of True Love

Open to Love

Posted on May 29, 2011 at 7:01 PM Comments comments (0)


"I wanted to have a chance at life, to meet someone and have my own children that I could love and be proud of. I realized then that this would only happen if I stopped treating myself the same way my mother did.


If you’d like to treat yourself better than your parents did and open up to love, I recommend:


1) Write Through your Feelings and Fears

Try and pinpoint when and what makes you feel good or sad.


By putting everything on paper, you can then reference your emotions, look into your behavioral patterns, and recognize what made you feel a certain way and how you dealt with it


Keeping a journal keeps you connected to yourself so you can make real changes that last.


2) Risk Trusting Other People


Taking risks with people is essential for happiness. After all, it is better to have experienced at least some loving friendships than to sit alone, fearing heartache.


3) Let Go of the Old Stories


Once I realized that our unhealthy non-relationship wasn’t my fault, I was able to stop blaming her and hanging onto the victim story.


Once you stop telling the story, it has less power over you.


4) Love Yourself


By loving myself, I allow others to love me. I love myself because I am still here, and I can see my life changing around me. When I have moments of insecurity, I read through my journals, speak to friends, or throw myself into tasks I enjoy, like baking.