Nia Fia
Version 2.014

"The function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential."
~ Bruce Lee


Focus on 1 Item at Time

Posted on August 8, 2011 at 6:50 PM Comments comments (0)

(from Tara McGillicuddy's Newsletter 8/8/11)


My system to Focus on 1 Item at Time:


1 Stop and Take a Few Deep Breaths


2. Write Down the items I want or need to get done


3. Choose 1 Item to Focus on


4. Set a Timer for 5 Minutes


5. Work on the Item for 5 Minutes


6. Evaluate the my progress


7. Repeat Process



This works well for me. Depending on what I'm working on I may adjust my time block to 10 or 15 minutes. I usually start with a 5 minute block because I know my mind is able to focus that long. Evaluating my progress is VERY important and allows me to choose how much more time I want or need to focus on an item. It also allows me to choose to move on to a different item."  


Anger Management Tools For ADHD Adults

Posted on August 2, 2011 at 10:19 PM Comments comments (0)


The Relaxed Response

Technique1. Stop and breathe.

We are not always aware that we hold our breath when we encounter stress, so at the very beginning of a stressful situation, be certain that you continue breathing without interruption.

Breathe smoothly, deeply and evenly at the very first trigger. Breathe deep from the diaphragm, if you can, making sure to exhale completely.

2. Smile and throw your shoulders back.

A smile increases blood flow to the brain and transmits nerve impulses from the facial muscles to the limbic system, a key emotional center of the brain.

Smiling changes your emotional state favorably, by stimulating the release of certain neurotransmitters. Sit up, or stand up straight, as you smile, balancing your posture by lifting up your head and chin. Relax your jaw and shoulders. Pretend that your spine has a thread running through it and out the top of your head and that someone is gently tugging on it to pull you up straight. Smile and let yourself you feel happy and light, as your body relaxes.

3. Make a wave of relaxation spread over your body.

Create a "wave of relaxation" through your body as if you're standing in the ocean. If the image of water is uncomfortable for you, make an image of a warm breeze blowing over you. Have the wave or breeze wash or blow away all unnecessary tension. Keep your mind and body calm. Feel centered and in control.

4. Take control of the situation.

Take control of the situation by accepting it as it is. Avoid the paralysis of analysis. Don't start to fret with useless questions like, "Why is this happening to me?"

Ask yourself, "What can I do right now that will make this situation better?" Quickly look for solutions instead of getting locked on the problem. Focus on what you can control, instead of what you can't.

Choose to learn from the experience. Listen with an open mind, trying to resolve conflict, rather than create it. Apply your own personal golden rule or spiritual philosophy in place of anxiety or anger. Think clear honest thoughts and protect yourself without hurting other people.

Response TechniquesTo Criticism

Responding to criticism can be easy to do, when you learn to do so, assertively with out attacking or surrendering to the criticism. You may respond to accurate criticism appropriately by acknowledging the criticism with dignity, protecting yourself-esteem. Inaccurate criticism can be responded to by "fogging", a gentle technique that protects you and doesn't attack the critic. Vague or over-generalized criticism can be responded to with an appropriate technique of questioning to clarify the issue.

The first step is to acknowledge the criticism and any truth there is to the statement. When the criticism is accurate, acknowledge so, by saying you're right and paraphrasing the criticism, so you both know what you are in agreement about. If a thank you or an explanation seems appropriate, then briefly do so and get on with other things. Don't dwell on the criticism, yet be determined about ways in which you can learn from it.

When you are given an inaccurate criticism, you can use "fogging" as a technique to respond. This involves a token agreement with the critic by agreeing only in part. Example: If someone says you are undependable you can respond by saying that you sometimes forget appointments. You are not agreeing that you are undependable and you are acknowledging that you do forget on occasion.

You can also agree about the possibility of the critic being right, by responding with,"Yes, I might be undependable at times." You could also agree just with the principle of the criticism by restating the principle behind the criticism, such as,"You're right, being late is undependable."

A lot of criticism is vague and needs to be clarified with questioning before you can decide how to respond. Stay away from why questioning and use how, what, where and when questioning to clarify the details. Example: If someone says that what you are doing annoys them, ask specifically how it is annoying and when it annoys.

Following are three effective ways to be assertive that will help you to stand your ground without provoking a anger or setting someone else up to respond defensively. Oftentimes ADDers have been criticized so much, they react angrily and aggressively or become passive to others actions toward them. Which ever response you have that you would like to modify, keep in mind that practice makes perfect and the first few attempts at responding differently may be awkward and not received as well as you hoped for, so hang in there and keep trying until you become comfortable and relaxed with your new options for responding.

Broken Record Response

Calmly and slowly keep repeating in a monotone voice without particular emphasis on any one word or phrase, what it is you have to say, until it is recognized and received appropriately by the other individual.

Emphatic Escalation

Calmly and slowly keep restating your response or request, with more assertion each time. Always remembering to be polite when asking and say please. Speak more firmly each time holing your ground, but not becoming aggressive.

Sensitive Listening

Respond being sensitive to the other persons point of view or plight, being sure to make your situation or point of view clear after you have acknowledged their point of view respectfully. Avoid using the word "but," replacing it with "and." Restating the other person's point of view, followed by the word 'but' negates what you have just said. Following it with the word 'and' will prevent the other person from becoming defensive or tuning you out.

Anger Assessment and Proactive Problem Solving

Identify your anger "triggers" and common situations in which they occur, so you can be prepared to respond differently. Be ready in this situations to take a deep breath, pause and respond in a calm and relaxed manner. Continue focusing on your breathing, relaxing your muscle tension and thinking pleasant and positive thoughts.

Identify negative thoughts and change them to appropriate positive sayings that you enjoy hearing yourself say. Self reminders such as "chill out" or "stay calm" are much easier to hear when we say them to ourselves before we hear them coming from someone else because we are beginning to behave angrily.

Think of the consequences that angry behavior will get you.

Think of the consequences that calm relaxed responses will get you!

Resolve to talk the incident over with a friend or coach later who can support and help you continue to respond in a way that will help you grow and become more satisfied with yourself.

If you are in a unbearable situation that you do not like, ask yourself, "What is the worst that could happen right now?" Chances are that the worst possible outcome won't happen, but you will be prepared for it, if it does.

Brainstorm positive solutions anger provoking situations and choose the best possible one to act upon. Decide a back up plan that is also positive and don't dwell on why the first one didn't work. Move on and learn from the experience.

Congratulate yourself each and every time you manage to change or modify a behavior that lessens your anger and gives you more options of responding in ways that are more appropriate for the fine person you are!

Maintaining Motivation with ADD

Posted on May 18, 2011 at 3:00 AM Comments comments (0)

Sometimes we lose sight of why things are important to us.


Taking the time to sit down and write a list why this goal is valuable to you will be worth the effort put into the exercise. Once you have done this, carry the list with you or post it in a place where you will read it often


When you can align your goals with who you are as a person and what you value in life, the steps to make your goals happen become clearer and the process involved becomes enriched. When it comes time to work, don't ask yourself what you need to do, ask yourself what you want to do.



(adapted from


Motivation to Get Work Done

Posted on May 18, 2011 at 2:29 AM Comments comments (0)

1. Break the task into smaller steps.


2. Use visual reminders to stay on task. Like a BIG NOTE on the TV!


3. Start off with easy assignments before tackling bigger projects. To keep my brain from getting punked by the difficult stuff, I do the easy things first. For example, do my dishes right now? Overwhelming. But instead of thinking, "Good lord, I cannot do this," I try to think, "OK, just the silverware" and then, "Since I already did that, maybe I'll do the glasses." I continue to make headway, until -- to my amazement -- all the dishes are done. ADDers are notoriously work-shy, and whatever gets us from A to B will get us, eventually, to C.


4. Surround yourself with productive, motivated role models.


5. Give yourself room for failure ... and room for multiple tries. There are no futile attempts! Even a small effort is worthwhile, since it sets in motion an attitude about progress and accomplishment.


6. Stay positive.



Don't Beat Yourself Up

Posted on May 18, 2011 at 12:01 AM Comments comments (0)

I think I do this more than I realize...

"What we silently say to ourselves about doing the task at hand has a strong impact on how (or whether) we do it. Avoid negative self-talk, and send yourself positive, realistic messages.

Instead of saying, “This will take forever, and it’s so late already…” substitute “I might not be able to finish this today, but I can do the first two steps within the next 30 minutes.”

The messages you send yourself when you complete a task can be powerful deterrents to future procrastination. They can also diminish the guilt that procrastinators often feel about having missed appointments in the past or having turned in work that doesn’t measure up to their ability."



Productivity Tips for ADHD

Posted on May 17, 2011 at 11:16 PM Comments comments (0)

A. Allot yourself a specific amount of time for each task.


People with ADD often have a poor sense of time. Instead of giving yourself all day to finish that report, give yourself two hours. Set an alarm or a computer alert to go off when time's up.


B. Each morning, list your top 10 "to-do" items.


This keeps you on track during the day. Write them on a white erasable board. If your priorities shift, alter the list with the swipe of a paper towel.



C. When setting a time to get together/an appointment underpromise and overdeliver. That is, say you'll be there by such-and-such a time, but get there early.



D. Set not one alarm, but two:  Starting with the time of your appointment, work backward until you figure out when you need to leave your home or workplace. Set an alarm clock or watch (or a cell phone or computer) to go off five minutes before that time—and a second alarm to go off five minutes later.


When the first alarm sounds, stop whatever you're doing and jot a quick sentence or two on a sticky note indicating where you left off. Try to be out of the door before the second alarm sounds.



E. Break out of hyperfocus. If you tend to lose yourself on eBay, set an alarm clock, kitchen timer, or computer alert—or arrange for someone reliable to call you at a specified time.


F. Join an ADD support group. Members can get together online when it’s time to tackle boring tasks,like filling out tax returns or filing: One at a time, each person leaves the computer, dedicates 15 minutes to the task at hand, then returns to instant messaging—to joke, commiserate, and congratulate one another. Find out more about support groups at


G. Create a “launch pad” near the front door. Create cubbies, pegs, hooks, or containers to stash things that family members need each time they leave the house—umbrellas, school backpacks, briefcases, pocketbooks, keys, scarves, and so on.


Career Advice from Powerful ADHD and LD Executives

Posted on May 16, 2011 at 1:05 PM Comments comments (0)

Looking for some inspiration and advice? Check this out:

Career Advice from Powerful ADHD and LD Executives

Career advice from 5 top executives who transformed their attention deficit disorder or learning disability into an asset in the workplace.

Simple ADHD Bedtime Routines

Posted on May 16, 2011 at 12:59 PM Comments comments (0)


"Before-Bed Routine


This will help cut down on morning panic.


1. Lay out your clothes for tomorrow.

Don't try to decide what to wear in the morning, while everyone is rushing about. As you lay out your clothes, let your children see you do it. Set a timer and turn it into a game.


2. Gather everything that you'll need to walk out the door in the morning.

Set up a "launch pad" by your front door. Encourage family members to use it for backpacks, projects, briefcases, and so on. If you set the example, your children will begin to use the pad too.


3. Go to bed in time to get enough sleep.

Admit it, you are trying to function on too little sleep. This has to stop! Establish a bedtime for everyone in the house, including yourself. When you get the rest you need, you set an example for your children - and give them the reward of a parent who is not grouchy."


ADHD Focus and Persistence Tips

Posted on May 13, 2011 at 10:02 AM Comments comments (0)

Staying focused


*Each time you sit down to tackle a boring task, set a timer for as long as you think you'll be able to stay focused. Whenever a distracting thought comes to mind (typically, something else you need to do), jot it down in a notebook. Tell yourself, "I'll do this later," then go back to work.

When the timer goes off, review your list. If the items you wrote down don't need to be dealt with right away, work a bit longer on the task. Go back to your list at the end of the day.


*Another way to stay focused is to place colored stickers on sources of distraction, like the telephone or computer. Each time you spot a dot, ask yourself, "Am I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing?"



If you run into trouble putting these strategies into action, tune in to your inner voice. Is it saying, "I just know this won't work, it never did before"? If so, ask yourself why it didn't work. Figure out what you need to do differently. Commit to trying the new approach for a week before deciding it's not worth the effort.

Depression and AHDH Tip

Posted on May 13, 2011 at 9:26 AM Comments comments (0)

Oh crappers, what if you have BOTH depression and ADHD?  Hehehe.....


"Establish routines. Lack of motivation is a complication of depression. Poor organization and an inability to meet your goals can occur with ADHD. Thus, it is important to develop structure and routines to counteract these symptoms. Schedule your day and your week. Follow the schedule and stay on task. Increase your awareness by watching the clock and noting how long it takes you to complete something. If you feel yourself getting off task, or your feel unmotivated to follow your routines, establish personal consequences"



WTF, SSRI cause Apathy/ADHD?

Posted on May 12, 2011 at 5:34 PM Comments comments (0)

What the hell? Some chick asked this question on Yahoo Answers:

"Can adults develop ADHD as a result of taking an SSRI?"

And one of the answer is YES!

Damn! No wonder I'm all like, "I don't really give a f*ck so maybe tomorrow" and often wonder if I'm ADHD. Listen to this quote from the gov publications 1 and 2:

"Apathy has a significant negative impact on the quality of life. It can be a part of other axis I and axis III disorders such as depression. It has also been reported as a treatment emergent side effect of SSRI drugs"


"Since the mesolimbic DA system plays an important role in motivation and reward, a potential decrease in the firing of DA neurons may lead, in some patients, to a lack of adequate response to SSRIs."

Yeah, staying alive on SSRI is better than the alternative, but since I'm past that stage...should I continue my dosage? Time to ask my doct.