Nia Fia
Version 2.014

"The function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential."
~ Bruce Lee


You Become What You Pretend to Be

Posted on August 19, 2011 at 9:25 PM Comments comments (0)


The next time you're feeling depressed and want to feel happy and positive, try this.

Put a pen between your teeth in far enough so that it's stretching the edges of your mouth back without feeling uncomfortable. This will force a smile. Hold it there for five minutes or so. You'll find yourself inexplicably in a happy mood. Then try walking with long strides and looking straight ahead. You will amaze yourself at how fast your facial expressions can change your emotions."


Focus on 1 Item at Time

Posted on August 8, 2011 at 6:50 PM Comments comments (0)

(from Tara McGillicuddy's Newsletter 8/8/11)


My system to Focus on 1 Item at Time:


1 Stop and Take a Few Deep Breaths


2. Write Down the items I want or need to get done


3. Choose 1 Item to Focus on


4. Set a Timer for 5 Minutes


5. Work on the Item for 5 Minutes


6. Evaluate the my progress


7. Repeat Process



This works well for me. Depending on what I'm working on I may adjust my time block to 10 or 15 minutes. I usually start with a 5 minute block because I know my mind is able to focus that long. Evaluating my progress is VERY important and allows me to choose how much more time I want or need to focus on an item. It also allows me to choose to move on to a different item."  


Tips for Developing Your Self Esteem and Positive Thinking

Posted on August 3, 2011 at 12:25 AM Comments comments (0)


• Don’t take other peoples criticism to heart, instead listen to what they are saying and learn from it.

• Take some time out for yourself everyday, meditate, look inside yourself and realize all your good points and imagine changing your bad ones into more positive.

• Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish.

• Do something everyday that you enjoy, such as talking a walk in the sunshine or soaking in a bubble bath.

• Never deprive yourself of something you enjoy.  If you know you shouldn’t be doing it, then do it anyway and stop chastising yourself about it.

• Talk positively to yourself, repeat affirmations to chase away all of the negative thoughts and feelings and to bring positive thinking into your life.


Simple Self Esteem

Posted on August 2, 2011 at 11:57 PM Comments comments (0)


"What can you do to build your self-esteem?  Here are some ideas.

- Be positive about yourself. It's much better to give yourself compliments than to put yourself down.

- Think of all the things you are good at and all your successes. Write these down and keep adding to the list. Read the list every day.

- Stop comparing yourself with other students. Your comparison should be with yourself. Are you better today than you were yesterday?

- Associate with students who like, respect, and support you. Try to avoid students who are always looking to find fault with you.

- Get involved in activities you enjoy. You will likely be successful in these activities.

- Make use of your special talents and abilities. These are your strengths.

- Take good care of yourself. You will feel better about yourself if you are healthy and well rested.

- Attack what you think are your weaknesses. Prove to yourself that "you can do it.

- "Help others. You will really feel good about yourself when you do.

- Keep looking for ways to improve yourself. As the old saying goes, "Reach for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among stars."

The higher your self-esteem, the higher will be your achievement.


Self Esteem

Posted on August 2, 2011 at 11:42 PM Comments comments (0)

"The key to improving your self-esteem is to take conscious control of your self-talk. Negative self-talk is the prime cause for creating and maintaining negative self esteem. The things you say to yourself in your mind, as well as the meaning you attribute to events in your life, combine to create the reality you end up live[ing].

One excellent way to combat and overcome negative self-talk is through using positive affirmations. The principle behind them is that the brain cannot entertain two contradictory notions at the same time. Eventually one of the two contradictory notions must win out and cause the other to collapse completely. The belief that finally wins out is the one that you invest with the most emotional energy and constancy of thought.

Affirmations such as:

"I like myself"

"I am a positive person and I create a positive life"

"I am a wonderful person of immense value who deserves to be loved"


Create a series of affirmations like this and resolve to use them throughout the day. You can write one or more of them out ten, twenty or more times a day. You should also take every opportunity to say them out loud to yourself. Always do so with enthusiasm and gusto; really feeling the positive emotions surging through your body. This is the true key to making affirmations work in improving self esteem. Putting all your emotional energy behind them gives the affirmations the power to destroy negative self-talk and low self esteem."


Anger Management Tools For ADHD Adults

Posted on August 2, 2011 at 10:19 PM Comments comments (0)


The Relaxed Response

Technique1. Stop and breathe.

We are not always aware that we hold our breath when we encounter stress, so at the very beginning of a stressful situation, be certain that you continue breathing without interruption.

Breathe smoothly, deeply and evenly at the very first trigger. Breathe deep from the diaphragm, if you can, making sure to exhale completely.

2. Smile and throw your shoulders back.

A smile increases blood flow to the brain and transmits nerve impulses from the facial muscles to the limbic system, a key emotional center of the brain.

Smiling changes your emotional state favorably, by stimulating the release of certain neurotransmitters. Sit up, or stand up straight, as you smile, balancing your posture by lifting up your head and chin. Relax your jaw and shoulders. Pretend that your spine has a thread running through it and out the top of your head and that someone is gently tugging on it to pull you up straight. Smile and let yourself you feel happy and light, as your body relaxes.

3. Make a wave of relaxation spread over your body.

Create a "wave of relaxation" through your body as if you're standing in the ocean. If the image of water is uncomfortable for you, make an image of a warm breeze blowing over you. Have the wave or breeze wash or blow away all unnecessary tension. Keep your mind and body calm. Feel centered and in control.

4. Take control of the situation.

Take control of the situation by accepting it as it is. Avoid the paralysis of analysis. Don't start to fret with useless questions like, "Why is this happening to me?"

Ask yourself, "What can I do right now that will make this situation better?" Quickly look for solutions instead of getting locked on the problem. Focus on what you can control, instead of what you can't.

Choose to learn from the experience. Listen with an open mind, trying to resolve conflict, rather than create it. Apply your own personal golden rule or spiritual philosophy in place of anxiety or anger. Think clear honest thoughts and protect yourself without hurting other people.

Response TechniquesTo Criticism

Responding to criticism can be easy to do, when you learn to do so, assertively with out attacking or surrendering to the criticism. You may respond to accurate criticism appropriately by acknowledging the criticism with dignity, protecting yourself-esteem. Inaccurate criticism can be responded to by "fogging", a gentle technique that protects you and doesn't attack the critic. Vague or over-generalized criticism can be responded to with an appropriate technique of questioning to clarify the issue.

The first step is to acknowledge the criticism and any truth there is to the statement. When the criticism is accurate, acknowledge so, by saying you're right and paraphrasing the criticism, so you both know what you are in agreement about. If a thank you or an explanation seems appropriate, then briefly do so and get on with other things. Don't dwell on the criticism, yet be determined about ways in which you can learn from it.

When you are given an inaccurate criticism, you can use "fogging" as a technique to respond. This involves a token agreement with the critic by agreeing only in part. Example: If someone says you are undependable you can respond by saying that you sometimes forget appointments. You are not agreeing that you are undependable and you are acknowledging that you do forget on occasion.

You can also agree about the possibility of the critic being right, by responding with,"Yes, I might be undependable at times." You could also agree just with the principle of the criticism by restating the principle behind the criticism, such as,"You're right, being late is undependable."

A lot of criticism is vague and needs to be clarified with questioning before you can decide how to respond. Stay away from why questioning and use how, what, where and when questioning to clarify the details. Example: If someone says that what you are doing annoys them, ask specifically how it is annoying and when it annoys.

Following are three effective ways to be assertive that will help you to stand your ground without provoking a anger or setting someone else up to respond defensively. Oftentimes ADDers have been criticized so much, they react angrily and aggressively or become passive to others actions toward them. Which ever response you have that you would like to modify, keep in mind that practice makes perfect and the first few attempts at responding differently may be awkward and not received as well as you hoped for, so hang in there and keep trying until you become comfortable and relaxed with your new options for responding.

Broken Record Response

Calmly and slowly keep repeating in a monotone voice without particular emphasis on any one word or phrase, what it is you have to say, until it is recognized and received appropriately by the other individual.

Emphatic Escalation

Calmly and slowly keep restating your response or request, with more assertion each time. Always remembering to be polite when asking and say please. Speak more firmly each time holing your ground, but not becoming aggressive.

Sensitive Listening

Respond being sensitive to the other persons point of view or plight, being sure to make your situation or point of view clear after you have acknowledged their point of view respectfully. Avoid using the word "but," replacing it with "and." Restating the other person's point of view, followed by the word 'but' negates what you have just said. Following it with the word 'and' will prevent the other person from becoming defensive or tuning you out.

Anger Assessment and Proactive Problem Solving

Identify your anger "triggers" and common situations in which they occur, so you can be prepared to respond differently. Be ready in this situations to take a deep breath, pause and respond in a calm and relaxed manner. Continue focusing on your breathing, relaxing your muscle tension and thinking pleasant and positive thoughts.

Identify negative thoughts and change them to appropriate positive sayings that you enjoy hearing yourself say. Self reminders such as "chill out" or "stay calm" are much easier to hear when we say them to ourselves before we hear them coming from someone else because we are beginning to behave angrily.

Think of the consequences that angry behavior will get you.

Think of the consequences that calm relaxed responses will get you!

Resolve to talk the incident over with a friend or coach later who can support and help you continue to respond in a way that will help you grow and become more satisfied with yourself.

If you are in a unbearable situation that you do not like, ask yourself, "What is the worst that could happen right now?" Chances are that the worst possible outcome won't happen, but you will be prepared for it, if it does.

Brainstorm positive solutions anger provoking situations and choose the best possible one to act upon. Decide a back up plan that is also positive and don't dwell on why the first one didn't work. Move on and learn from the experience.

Congratulate yourself each and every time you manage to change or modify a behavior that lessens your anger and gives you more options of responding in ways that are more appropriate for the fine person you are!

How can I stay centered and grounded no matter what

Posted on June 26, 2011 at 7:29 AM Comments comments (0)


"When I am working with clients, one of the first core capabilities I teach them is about is how to minimize getting thrown off balance. They learn how to become more "awake" and grounded.

I'd like to pass on some tips for how you can do this in your own life, because it's a key skill that can help you in several ways:

- minimize the feeling of being out of control in your life

- start building and sharpening your gut-awareness, an important early warning system that's needed to be able to navigate your Disquiet.

- help you perform more effectively in the things that are important to you

- begin to build an ability for you to feel grounded and centered - no matter what

When we are threatened - either physically or emotionally, our "fight or flight" system is activated. Remember that concept from high school biology? It is very real. Having a gun pointed at your head or your mortgage check bounce causes the same amount of adrenaline to be dumped into your system as your blood is diverted to your extremities to help you either run or duke it out. Then, the brain activity diverts energy from the logical part of our brain to the most primitive reptilian part that's in charge of our most basic survival.

So the thing to do is minimize this chemical reaction as much as possible, and to buy some time to let whatever adrenaline that is released dissipate a bit and get our brains back online.

Enter the wisdom from meditation used in martial arts and spiritual traditions. There is something you can learn to do in real-time that will help. It's easy and it works!

The following is a practice adapted from an exercise in a great book called "Retooling on the Run: Real Change for Leaders With No Time", by Stuart Heller and David Surrender.

Below you will see the instructions that I use with my clients. To learn this, I first recommend you actually listen to the instructions told to you while you are sitting quietly with your eyes closed. To hear these instructions, you can listen or download it by going to my blog and clicking on the "Centered Presence Practice" button.

Once you have practiced it a couple of times in a slow relaxed way with your eyes closed, begin trying it real-time in your day-to-day activities. While you are talking to someone, try it - right then. The next time you are in a hectic staff meeting, try it. Eyes open and while you are talking (yes, you can do this while you are doing other things). The next time you're in a conversation that goes ballistic with your spouse or kid, try it.

The more you practice, the more accessible it gets. It can become second nature. When I am in a coaching session with someone, I use this practice myself probably a dozen times inside a 90 minute conversation. It keeps me present and focused. It also comes in handy at home - in thosetouchy situations with my significant other and my teenage son.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

The Practice: "Centered Presence"

-  Find your Feet

-  Feel your feet touching the floor.

-  Notice the pressure and the contact between your feet and the floor.

-  Become aware of how warm or cold your feet maybe.

-  Whatever you can sense there, let that awareness increase and spread throughout your body.

-  And take a nice deep breath.

-  Find your Hands

-  Bring your awareness to your hands. What can you feel?

-  Sense the air moving around them. What is their temperature? Whatever sensation you can detect, let it increase and spread throughout your body.

-  And take a deep breath.

-  Find your Head

-  Look and listen to what is going on around you and within you.

-  Tune in to your senses of taste and smell.

-  Notice how your head balances on top of your spine.

-  Let the sensations grow in strength and spread throughout your body.

- While maintaining this quality of sensation, let a new breath emerge.

- Find your Breath Inhale and exhale on purpose

- Focus your attention on the middle of your torso

- Relax and let your breath move to its own rhythm

- Let the sensations grow in strength and spread throughout your body.

Let me know how it goes! Or contact me with any questions at [email protected]

I hope you find this helpful in your life.


Self-discipline. Cultivating the habit of completion

Posted on June 26, 2011 at 3:41 AM Comments comments (0)


Why do we procrastinate?

Why do we sabotage ourselves even when we know what we should do to move towards our goal? I read a great post by Leo Baubata of Zen Habits a couple of months ago where he talked of 4 reasons why we procrastinate:

1)  It provides Instant Gratification – It feels better right now

2)  It avoids Fear – If I do it wrong what will they say? What will they think of me? If I don’t act then I avoid the risk of making a mistake.

3) It has no immediate negative consequences – Jim Rohn says “We all have the choice of one of two great pains in the world – the pain of regret or the pain of discipline”. The pain of discipline is here and now. The pain of regret comes later… but is by far the worse pain.

4) I overestimate my future self – I have some inner belief that I will be smarter, better, faster in the future. This is a strong belief. The work that is hard today must somehow be easier for the better future me? But, what if’s not? I am deceiving myself.

Self-discipline grows with use.

Self-discipline, like muscle, grows with use. Keep one promise, the next one will be is easier. Run tonight, tomorrow easier. Write now, tomorrow easier.

The other side of the coin, however, is that without use, discipline shrinks! No run today, harder tomorrow. No writing today, harder tomorrow.


How can you develop your self-discipline?

Here are some simple “first steps” you might want to try after reading this article:

1)  Try the Pomodoro technique. Do 10 minutes on something important right now.

2) Take time each morning to reflect on what is important

3)  Avoid “the watercooler gang” – the groups in our offices and schools who are happily unproductive and enjoy helping others take their place in the group. Make a list of 2-3 people who support you when you talk of your progress in something important in your life.

4)  Never underestimate the role of practice and persistence and hard work in success. The “3 steps to untold riches programs” don’t work. The “flat tummy in 1 week while watching TV plan” doesn’t work. There are no shortcuts. Don’t waste time looking.

5)  Inspiration tends to come when you have trudged through 40 minutes of painful effort and have not allowed yourself to check email, make a coffee, eat chocolate, check IM… You have to push through to get to inspiration.

How to Stay Grounded in Challenging Times

Posted on June 25, 2011 at 8:21 AM Comments comments (0)

"Grounding is the kinesthetic sense of being fully present in our body and our environment, moment by moment. It’s the continual flow and integration of sensory, emotional and mental stimuli. Like a sturdy tree, we bend and sway in a storm, but we’re rooted in our core.

A lack of grounding comes from an imbalance in our energy and our body. We feel uneasy, confused, unsettled.  Unless it’s corrected, insufficient grounding can make us accident-prone.  It can also escalate and cause physical and mental problems.

Here are nine immediate ways to improve grounding.

1. Feel and accept all your emotions; they’re valuable messages from your soul. The positive, joyful emotions tell us we’re doing great. The painful ones tell us we’re out of balance, some situation needs improving, and the painful emotion needs transforming. If it’s not transformed, and it persists, that emotion will embed itself in our body, causing malfunction and eventually, disease.

There are Six Healing Sounds that dramatically transform painful emotions.  Here’s how to do one of them, which is called the Relaxation or Sleep Sound. Lie down. Close your eyes and inhale deeply through your nose, inflating your abdomen, which also inflates your chest.  Slowly exhale as you say the sound HEEEEE, deflating your chest, then your abdomen, and then, sending the sound down your whole body, into the earth.  Rest and breathe naturally; your temperature will even out. Repeat the whole procedure until relaxed or, if you wish, until you fall asleep.

2. Eat three nutritious, organic meals daily, with green vegetables, some raw foods, some fermented foods. Eat foods with a variety of beautiful colors and delicious tastes. Give thanks for each meal, chew thoroughly, and mix each mouthful with saliva.  Carefully shopping for and preparing your own food will improve both your grounding and your nutrition.

3. Emphasize earth element foods: beans and whole grains (pre-soaked overnight; soak water discarded), yellow and orange foods, foods grown in the ground.

4. Avoid addictive stimulants: coffee, chocolate, alcoholic drinks.  Avoid cane sugar;  substitute a little organic raw honey or 100% maple syrup.

5. Soak your feet in warm water.  Massage them vigorously with oil or lotion, especially the toes and kidney point, which is located between the two balls of the foot.

6. If you meditate, do not leave energy in your head or heart.  End every kind of meditation with this safe method of energy collection:  Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. With both palms together, rub your abdomen in circles. Women, circle counter-clockwise (when looking down at abdomen) for 36 times; then clockwise for 24 times. Men, circle clockwise 36 times; then counter-clockwise 24 times. Repeat if you’re still feeling spacey.

7. Slow down – get in touch with your own natural rhythms in your spiritual practice and in daily life.  Pushing yourself to receive a higher energy than your body is ready to assimilate can cause severe runaway energy.  This is especially true of doing spiritual sexual practices without first clearing emotions and balancing the body.

8. Exercise moderately, daily. Walk in nature. As you walk, connect to the earth with every step: roll each foot from heel, to side, to balls, to toes.

9. Grow a garden or plants. Adopt a pet. Use your unique gifts to help kids, seniors or animals in need. Some meditation methods create an ungrounded energy imbalance by cultivating universal or heaven energy, and ignoring or negating body and earth energies. The fundamental safeguard of the Universal Healing Tao System is that our practices are always grounded in our bodies, and connected to the earth.

At every level, we exercise moderately, transform our painful emotions, circulate our chi (life force energy) to balance yin and yang, and store chi in our navel area, as in #6 above.

Earlier, we mentioned that being continually ungrounded can lead to physical and mental difficulties.  It can make us accident-prone.  It can escalate into uncontrolled, runaway energy (sometimes called “kundalini syndrome”;), that causes occasional headaches, dizziness, disorientation, or mild heat sensations in the spine or heart.

More severe runaway energy shows up as very hot or very cold energy rushing up the spine, heat or pressure in the head, fainting, localized pain, frequent insomnia, or frequent diarrhea or constipation.  The most extreme forms of runaway energy cause an inability to function at all, or as mental illness.

Of course, if you have these severe or extreme symptoms, have them checked medically, to rule out physical or emotional disorders.  Note that chi kung literature and the experiences of our students report that western medications do not heal severe runaway energy. We advise you to contact a Universal Healing Tao Certified Instructor, or other skilled spiritual teacher or counselor, who has successfully worked with healing runaway energy."



Grounding thru Organization

Posted on June 25, 2011 at 6:48 AM Comments comments (0)

"7 Ways To Stay Grounded by Staying Organized

1.  Make your bed every day. Creating order and peacefulness in the bedroom settles the energies in that space and those good energies affect the rest of the house and you.

2. Clean up your kitchen every day. Having a clean and orderly kitchen calms the part of the house most associated with nurturance and comfort, also calming you.

3. Have morning and evening routines that are made up of activities of self-care, like bathing, exercising, tending to pets, straightening up. Tending yourself is a powerful way to ground and center yourself.

4. Sort your mail daily to make yourself aware of tasks that need to be done and bills that need to be paid. Knowing your reality is more calming than the anxiety produced by not knowing.

5. Keep paper in no more than two main locations, for example, the kitchen and the home office. Avoid allowing paper to spread throughout the house. When it spreads, its negative energy pollutes whatever area it is in. Paper is usually associated with some kind of task that needs to be done, like deciding whether you need the paper or not, or deciding where the paper should go next. When you see it all over the place it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the message it is sending, “You need to do something!” When you are feeling overwhelmed your are not centered.

6. Maintain order by putting things away all the time. Avoid the temptation to just drop things. It takes much more energy to pick them up than it does to drop them. When items are just dropped they have a negative, chaotic energy that is anything but grounding. And, dropped things attract more dropped things!

7. Do at least one 5 minute cleanup per day. Either start or end your day with a quick cleanup. Put things away, move things to the part of the house where they belong, straighten your papers, throw out trash. Take that time to restore order to your space. One of the first things I do when I’m thrown off center by some bad news or a difficult situation is to establish order in my home. Some would call my behavior compulsive. I call it grounding!"


Writing Self Confidence Affirmations

Posted on June 25, 2011 at 6:42 AM Comments comments (0)

'Affirmations to build self-confidence should be:

1) positive statements

2) stated in the present tense

3) specific and

4) stated with emotion.

The affirmations you select must resonate with you. Use your affirmations frequently each day. Repetition and consistency are important ingredients in the affirmation process. Repeat the affirmations aloud or silently throughout the day. Another excellent method is to say the affirmations aloud as you look in a mirror. Many people also write the affirmations on index cards and place them where they will be seen frequently. Affirmations also have added power when stated with gratitude"


Boosting your WillPower

Posted on May 31, 2011 at 2:34 AM Comments comments (0)

Practice, Practice, Practice

The simplest way to get better at anything is to practice. As a weekly exercise, pick something you do in excess and stop for a week. After you've practiced for several weeks, try for longer. If you can make it a month, that's often enough time to actually change your behavior. It's not a new concept but it can be a big help. Tell yourself you're going try to cut out a particular behavior for a month and reassess once that month is over.


Find Adequate Distractions

When temptation is in front of you, it's hard to say no. If you can distract yourself and avoid thinking about that temptation, however, it's often enough to keep you from making a bad choice. The idea is that the more your mind and body are tied up in other actions, the less bandwidth you'll have available to try and indulge in a particular vice. Simply put: restrict and distract yourself to avoid making poor choices.

Take Care of Yourself

You have a limited supply of self-control and exhausting it can breed aggression.  Keeping yourself healthy on a daily basis, however, can make a big difference. Like with anything, proper diet, exercise, and sleep make it easier to do what you need to do.

Fabricate Disadvantage

If exercising a vice is significantly easier than practicing self-control, you need to find ways to make it harder to make the wrong choice.

Introduce Fear

In order to use fear as a self-control mechanism, you need to be able to make the consequences of a particular action feel immediate.  How you make the consequences feel immediate and influence your decisions is highly personal, but it should always be safe.


How To Be Reminded Of Things & Goals

Posted on May 30, 2011 at 4:09 AM Comments comments (0)

How To Be Reminded Of Things & Goals

The only way we can overcome forgetfulness is simply to remind ourselves all the time.

Listed below are a few simple ways to actually do that.

1) Make use of screensaver. Put up encouraging words such as “It’s been at least 5 minutes since you do anything, do something now!!”

2) Constantly edit your wallpaper by listing down your priorities. I need to have pictures as my wallpaper. So what I did is to edit the pictures using Gimp to list down my top 5 goals in life (Beautifully written of course)

3) Set alarm for your work. After a while you will need to have a break. What I would recommend you to do is to set an alarm on your computer to ensure you will be able to get back to work promptly.

I suggest an online alarm clock – You can set what kind of alarm noise you want from cockerel, classic clock, electronic and slayer guitar. Make sure you max out the volume of your speaker. That should work.

The simpler way is of course to set up the alarm on your cellphone.

4) Install ReminderFox extension to your Firefox. This is especially for those who use Firefox as their browser. You can install this extension (ReminderFox)and organize how you want to be reminded.

5) Paste reminders on the wall. It’s one of the most efficient way to remind yourself.

Some other interesting places to paste the note is in your wallet, at the steering wheel of your car or on top of your television. The rule is to place it at the most viewed place throughout the day.

6) Use unwritten reminder. Pasting notes to remind ourselves is a great idea but when you have a few thousand things to remember, your house may not need the new repainting (It will be covered with that small notes pasted on the wall)

What you should try to do is to associate the things you see everyday to your list of things to remember. For example, I will always be reminded to check whether I’m out of gas whenever I come across a gas station while driving. Try this with everything else.

7) Ask a friend to remind you. Ask for help from your friends to remind you of your goals.

Open to Love

Posted on May 29, 2011 at 7:01 PM Comments comments (0)


"I wanted to have a chance at life, to meet someone and have my own children that I could love and be proud of. I realized then that this would only happen if I stopped treating myself the same way my mother did.


If you’d like to treat yourself better than your parents did and open up to love, I recommend:


1) Write Through your Feelings and Fears

Try and pinpoint when and what makes you feel good or sad.


By putting everything on paper, you can then reference your emotions, look into your behavioral patterns, and recognize what made you feel a certain way and how you dealt with it


Keeping a journal keeps you connected to yourself so you can make real changes that last.


2) Risk Trusting Other People


Taking risks with people is essential for happiness. After all, it is better to have experienced at least some loving friendships than to sit alone, fearing heartache.


3) Let Go of the Old Stories


Once I realized that our unhealthy non-relationship wasn’t my fault, I was able to stop blaming her and hanging onto the victim story.


Once you stop telling the story, it has less power over you.


4) Love Yourself


By loving myself, I allow others to love me. I love myself because I am still here, and I can see my life changing around me. When I have moments of insecurity, I read through my journals, speak to friends, or throw myself into tasks I enjoy, like baking.



Five Pillars of Self-Discipline

Posted on May 22, 2011 at 2:58 AM Comments comments (0)

When I get more time, I woud like to take the time to explore Steve Pavlina's articles about Self-Discipline starting with this one:


He will be discussing his "Five Pillars of Self-Discipline"

MOTIVATION - "Be Great, Powerful Beyond Measure"

Posted on May 22, 2011 at 2:48 AM Comments comments (0)


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Discipline to Reach Your Goals, pt.1

Posted on May 22, 2011 at 2:41 AM Comments comments (0)

Although this is a mini-infomercial and a bit religious, she still have some good ideas about goals...

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How to develop self-discipline

Posted on May 22, 2011 at 2:27 AM Comments comments (0)


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5 Attributes of Self Discipline

Posted on May 22, 2011 at 1:38 AM Comments comments (0)

Here's alittle video about a hand trick to remember the 5 Attributes of Self Discipline :

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Making Dreams Come True

Posted on May 21, 2011 at 6:55 PM Comments comments (0)

1. Don’t wait until the situation is perfect.

2. Don’t wait until other people agree with you.

3. Don’t wait until your skill is good.


1. Believe in your dream.

2. Visualize your dream.

3. Expect a hard way ahead.

4. Take one bite at a time.